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French's International Copyrighted (in Eng;land, her Colonit- 
and the United States) Edition of the Works 



of the Best Autliors. 

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R 5177 
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900 

opy 1 - 25 1900 No. 30. 



^ 



i ^ S'air of. . . . 
I Knickerbockers 



EDEN PHILLPOTTS 



Copyright, 1900, by T. H. French 



i 351901) 



Z PRICE 25 CENTS 



^ London 

^ SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd, 

^ PUBLISHERS 

89 STRAND 



Amateurs are not allowed to produce this play without ^ 

payment of the authors' royalty. All inquiries concern- ^ 

ing same should be addressed to the publishers. d, 



New York ^ 

SAMUEL FRENCH . ^ 

PUBLISHER ^ 



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FRENCH'S STANDARD DRAMA. 

Price 15 Cents each.— Bound Volumes $1.25. 



VOL. I. 
X Ion 
9 Fazio 
a The Lady of Lyons 

4 Richelieu 

5 The Wife 

6 The Honeymoon 

7 The School for Scandal 

8 Money 

VOL. II. 

9 The Stranger 

10 Grandfather Whitehead 

11 Richard III 

12 Love'i Sacrifice 

13 The Gameiter 

14 A Cure for the Heartache 
16 The Hunchback 

16 Don Caesar de Baian 

VOL. III. 

17 The Poor Gentleman 

18 Hamlet 

19 Charlei II 

20 Venice Preserved 
SI Pizarro 

S3 The Love Chase 
93 Othello 

24 Lend me Five Shillings 

VOL. IV. 

25 Virglnius 

26 King of the Commons 

27 London Assurance 

28 The Rent Day 

29 Two Gentlemen of Verona 
SO The Jealous Wife 

81 The Rivals 
39 Perfection 

VOL. V. [Debts 
3.^ A New Way to Pay Old 

34 Look Before You Leap 

35 King John 

36 Nervous Man 

37 Damon and Pvthias 

38 Clandestine Marriage 

39 William Tell 

40 Day after the Wedding 

VOL. Vf. 

41 Speed the Plough 
49 Romeo and Juliet 

43 Feudal Times 

44 Charles the Twelfth 

45 The Bride 

46 The Follies of a Night 

47 Iron Chest [Fair Lady 

48 Faint Heart Never Won 

VOL. VIL 

49 Road to Ruin 
CO Macbeth 
61 Temper 
69 Evadne 

63 Bertram 

64 The Duenna 

65 Much Ado About Nothing 

66 The Critic 

VOL. VIII. 

67 The Apostate 

68 Twelfth Night 

69 Brutus 

60 Simpson & Co 

61 Merchant of Venice 
69 Old Heads* Young Hearts 

63 Mountaineers [riage 

64 Three Weeks after Mar- 

VOL. IX. 

65 Love 

66 As You Like It 

67 The Elder Brother 

68 Werner 

69 Glsippus 

70 Town and Country 

71 King Lear 

72 Blue Devils 

VOL. X. 
78 Henry VIII 

74 Married and Single 

75 Henry IV 

76 Paul Pry 

77 Guy Mannering 

78 Sweethearts and Wifes 

79 Serious Family 
60 She Stoops to Conquer 



VOL. XI. 

81 Julius Cajsar 

82 Vicar of Wakefield 

83 Leap Y^ear 

84 The Catspaw 

85 The Passing Cloud 

86 Drunkard 

87 Rob Rov 

88 George Barnwell 

VOL. xn. 

89 Ingomar 

90 Sketches in India 

91 Two Friends 
9i Jane Shore 

93 Corsican Brothers 

94 Mind your own Business 

95 Writing on the Wall 

96 Heir at Law 

VOL. xin. 

97 Soldier's Daughter 

98 Douglas 

99 Marco Spada 

100 Nature's Nobleman 

101 Sardanapalus 

102 Civilization 

103 The Robbers 

104 Katharine and Petruchio 

VOL. XIV. 

105 Game of Love 

106 Midsummer Night's 

107 Ernestine [Dream 

108 Rag Picker of Paris' 

109 Flying Dutchman 

110 Hypocrite 

111 Therese 

112 La Tour de Nesle 

VOL. XV. 

113 Ireland As It Is 

114 Sea of Ice 

115 Seven Clerks 

116 Game of Life 

117 Forty Thieves 
1 " ■■ 



Bryan Boroihme 

119 Romance and Reality 

120 Ugolino 

VOL. XVI. 



199 Miller and his Men 

200 Aladdin 
VOL. XXVI. 

201 Adrienne the Actress 

202 Undine 

203 Jesse Brown 

204 Asmodeus 

205 Mormons 

206 Blanche of Brandywine 

207 Viola 

208 Deseret Deserted 
VOL. XXVII. 

209 Americans in Paris 

210 Victorine 

211 Wizard of the Wave 

212 Castle Spectre 

213 Horse-shoe Robinson 

214 Armand, Mrs. Mowatt 

215 Fashion, Mrs. Mowatt 

216 Glance at New York 
VOL. XXVIIl, 

217 Inconstant 

218 Uncle Tom's Cabin 

219 Gnide to the Stage 

220 Veteran 

221 Miller of New Jersey 

222 Dark Hour before Dawn 

223 Midsum'rNight'sDream 
[Laura Keene's Edition 

224 Art and Artifice 
VOL. XXIX. 

225 Poor Young Man 

226 Ossawattomie Brown 

227 Pope of Rome 

228 Oliver Twist 

229 Pauvrette 

230 Man in the Iron Mask 

231 Knight of Arva 

232 Moll Pitcher 
VOL. XXX. 

233 Black Eyed Susan 

234 Satan in Paris 

235 Rosina Meadows [ess 

236 West End, or Irish Heir- 

237 Six Degrees of Crime 

238 The Lady and the Devil 

239 Avenger, or Moor of Sici- 

240 Masks and Faces [ly 
(French's Standard Drama Continued on jd page q/G 



121 The Tempest 

122 The Pilot 

123 Carpenter of Rouen 

124 King's Rival 

125 Little Treasure 

126 Dombey and Son 

127 Parents" and Guardians 

128 Jewess 

VOL. XVII. 

129 Camille 

130 Married Life 

131 Wenlock of Wenlock 

132 Rose of Ettrlckvale 

133 David Copperfield 

134 Aline, or the Rose of 

135 Pauline [Killarney 

136 Jane Eyre 

VOL. XVIII. 

137 Night and Morning 

138 ^thiop 

139 Three Guardsmen 

140 Tom Cringle 

141 Henriette, the Forsaken 

142 Eustache Baudin 

143 El-nest Maltravers 

144 Bold Dragoons 

VOL. XIX. 

145 Dred, or the Dismal 

■ • [Swamp 

146 Last Days of Pompeii 

147 Esmeralda 

148 Peter Wilkins 

149 Ben the Boatswain 
160 Jonathan Bradford 

151 Retribution 

152 Minerali 

VOL. XX. 

153 French Spy 

154 Wept of VVish-ton Wish 

155 Evil Genius 

156 Ben Bolt 

167 Sailor of France 

158 Red Mask 

159 Life of an Actress 

160 Wedding Day 



[Moscow 



VOL. XXI. 

161 All's Fair in Love 

162 Hofer 

163 Self 

164 Cinderella 

165 Phantom 

166 Franklin 

167 The Gunmaker'of 

168 The Love of a Prince 

VOL. XXII. 

169 Son of the Night 

170 Rory O'More 

171 Golden Eagle 

172 Rienzi 

173 Broken Sword 

174 Rip Van Winkle 

175 Isabelle 

176 Heart of Mid Lothian 

VOL. XXIII. 

177 Actress of Padua 

178 Floating Beacon 

1*9 Bride of Lammermoor 

180 Cataract of the Ganges 

181 Robber of the Rhine 

182 School of Reform 

183 Wandening Boys 

184 Mazeppa 

VOL. XXIV. 

185 Voung New York 

186 The Victims 

187 Romance after Marriage 

188 Brigand 

189 Poor of New York 

190 Ambrose Gwinett 

191 Raymond and Agnes 

192 Gambler's Fate 

VOL. XXV. 

193 Father and Son 

194 Massaniello 

195 Sixteen String Jack 

196 Youthful Queen ~~ 

197 Skeleton Witness 

198 Jnnkeeper of Abbeville 



VOL. XXXI. 

241 Merry Wives of Windsor 

242 Mary's Birthday 

243 Sh.indy Maguire 

244 Wild Oats 

245 Michael Erie 
■:46 Idiot Witness 

247 Willow Copse 

248 People's Lawver 

VOL. XXkiL 

249 The Boy Martyrs 

250 Lucretia Borgia 

251 Surgeon of Paris 

252 Patrician's Daughter 

253 Shoemaker of Toulouse 

254 Momentous Question 

255 Love and Loyalty 
1256 Robber's Wi'fe 

VOL. XXXIII. 

257 Dumb Girl of Genoa 

258 Wreck Ashore 

259 Clari 

260 Rural Felicity 

261 Wallace 

262 Madelaine 

263 The Fireman 

264 Grist to the Mill 

VOL. XXXIV. 

265 Two Loves and a Life 

266 Annie Blake 

267 Steward 

268 Captain Kyd 

269 Nick of the Woods 

270 Marble Heart 

271 Second Love 

272 Dream at Sea 

VUL. XXXV. 

273 Bre.<ich of Promise 

274 Review 

275 Lady of the Lake 

276 Still Water Runs Deep 

277 The Scholar 

278 Helping Hands 

279 Faust and Marguerite 

280 Last M.sn 

VOL. XXXV r. 

281 Belle's Stratagem 

282 Old and Young 

283 Raffaella 

284 Ruth Oakley *■ 

285 British Slave 

286 A Life's Ransom 

287 Giralda 
28S Time Tries All 

VOL. XXXVIL 

289 Ella Rosenburg 

290 Warlock of the Glen 

291 Zelina 

292 Beatrice 

293 Neighbor Jack wood 

294 Wonder 

295 Robert Emmet 

296 Green Bushes 
VOL. XXXVIII. 

297 Flowers of the Forest 

298 A Bachelor of Arts 

299 The Midnight Banquet 

300 Husband of an Hour 

301 Love's Labor Lost 

302 Naiad Queen 
.303 Caprice 

304 Cradle of Liberty 
VOL. XXXIX. 

305 The Lost Ship 

306 Country Squire 

307 Fraud and its Victims 

308 Putnam 

309 King and Deserter 

310 La Fiammina 

311 A Hard Struggle 

312 Gwinnette Vaughan 
VOL. XL. 

313 The Love Knot [Judge 

314 Levater, or Not a Bad 

315 The Noble Heart 

316 Coriolanus 

317 The Winter's T.ale ^ 

318 Eveleen Wilson 

319 Ivanhoe 

320 Jonathan in England 
over.) 



SAMUEL FRENCH, 26 West 22d Street, New York City. 

New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed Free on Request. 



A 



PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS 



r*' 



/ BY 

EDEN PHILLPOTTS 

Author of " A Breezy Morning. " Part Author of " A Golden 
Wedding," " The Counsellor's Wife," Etc. 



Copyright, 1900, i!y T. H. French 



New York 
SAMUEL FREXCH 

PUBLISHER 

26 WEST 22D STREET 



London 
SAMUEL FREXCH, 

PUBLISHERS 

89 STRAND 



Ltd, 



\ 



Produced at St. George's Hall, London, 
December 26th, 1899. ' 

I : i-:; Cokes Rs 

■ ronvdfsd t? 

■■DERDiViSiON:, 
AUG 3 1900 



CHAEACTERS. 



Mr. Melrose • • Mr. W. G. Elliott. 

Mrs. Melrose, Miss Ruth Maitl and. 



A PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 



Scene. — A pretty morning-room. 

(Mr. Melrose and Mrs. Melrose discovered at centre. 
He Juts her face between his hands and is kissing 
her steadily, first on one cheek, then on the other, as 
cur tain rises. She has a letter ichich she carries 
held in her hand behifid her. She wears a pretty 
blouse and serge skirt. He wears tweed shooting-coat 
and knickerbockers made of same material.) 

Mrs. M. That'll do, Harry ! That'll do ! You'll 
smother me. 

Mr. M. Well, my sweetheart, to be smothered 
with kisses is a very jolly death, I believe. 

Mrs. M. {escaping from him) But then I should 
never have any more. We've only been married a 
week yet, and I want you to go on kissing me — in 
moderation — for the next fifty j^ears at least. Be- 
sides, I only asked for one in payment, {holding up 
letter) 

Mr. M. Who is it ? 

Mrs. M. {giving him the letter) Guess! 

Mr. M. My mother, I'll bet! 

Mrs. M. No, mine. 

Mr. M. Yours! What can she be writing about ? 

Mrs. M. Perhaps she wants to know if I'm a good 
girl ; or perhaps she's sending 

Mr. M. Advice. If everybody took your mother's 
advice, it would be a happier world, Nelly. 

Mrs. M. But she is old-fashioned, bless her! 

Mr. M. Elderly people ought to be. 

Mrs. M. You're dreadfully behind the times your- 

3 



4 A PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 

self, 3^ou old dear. But I shall wake you up before 
I\^e done with you. 

Mr. M. Never attempt that, Nell! {looking at 
watch) By Jove ! past ten o'clock ; and our walking 
tour begins to-day. We've got to be at Tavistock by 
one. that's certain. 

Mrs. M. What a nuisance it is! People oughtn't 
to ititerfere with a honeymoon. 

Mr. M. Well, rich avints must be humoured. You 
see, dear old Dame Featherstone hasn't the privilege 
of your acquaintance yet, and we shall only be there 
four and twenty hours at the outside. She's old- 
fashioned too, by the way. She's lunched at one 
o'clock for over half a centur}^, and if we were late 
at a meal, it w^ould be worse than not going to the 
Manor House at all. So look sharp! 

Mrs. M. I hope I can do it, Hal ; I've never walked 
ten miles in my life before. 

Mr. M. {opening his letter) Doit? Of course you 
can. Only put on sensible clothes. You don't want 
a swagger frock for walking, {he opens letter and 
does not look at her as she answers) 

Mrs. M. Yes, quite so — something sensible — some- 
thing rational, {aside) He's in the very mood for 
it! And whatever he thinks, he can't — he positively 
can't object about a thing like that. It would be 
tyranny ! 

{Exit Mrs. Melrose) 

Mr. M. {reading letter) ' ' My dear Harry, — I write 
to congratulate you, for I really think you have done 
wonders with our sweet Nelly already. 'Tis but a 
week since you were married, and from the tone of 
my dear child's first letter I can already see your 
masculine influence at work. It is so womanly and 
humble and not a syllable about all that modern 
folly." (breaking off) Of course not. I knew Nell 
never meant a word of it. She only pretended to be 
a New Woman to score off me, because she knew I 
hated the sight of 'em. {reads) ' ' She always thought 
her mother behind the times, but with you it was 
different, and you have evidently banished the last 
shadow of the nonsense she picked up at the Atalanta 
Club from certain very undesirable acquaintances. 



A PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 5 

Her advanced ideas were the foolish whim of a mo- 
ment and we shall hear no more of them now." 
{breaking off) Of course we shan't! Nell a New 
Woman! No, she's one of the sweet old sort, thank 
the Lord ! (reads) " I have no hesitation in saying 

that it is entirely due to Miss Prance " (breaking 

off. Puts letter in his pocket) Ah! that beast of a 
girl was responsible for the whole piece of tom-foolery. 
What a woman ! (shudders) Spends half her time 
sneering at men and the other half trying to copy 
'em ! A pioneer she says she is and thinks she repre- 
sents her sex, whereas in reality she doesn't represent 
anything but herself. - These pioneer women go and 
make jolly silly marriages, and then, just because 
they've drawn a blank and got hitched for life to 
some out-and-out bounder, they turn round and give 
up darning his socks and take to damning his char- 
acter. They fly to pens and ink as we fly to drink, 
and then write nasty books. That's a girl all 
over. She marries one brute and thinks he's a fair 
sample of them all. Then they begin trying to 
turn the world upside down. They grumble, and 
growl, and agitate, and form leagues, and get up on 
platforms and meddle with politics, and go to the 
"Varsity, and turn into Avranglers and doctors and 
everything but sensible women, and dare to fool with 
a national game like football and think they play it ! 
(shudders) And tackle social problems and mind other 
people's business and try to save one another and run 
about and are devilish busy and devilish miserable 
all the time. You can't be really angry with -the 
poor souls ; you can only be sorry for them, {goes 
to looking-glass) Do women with decent husbands 
behave like this ? No — never. Of course I wouldn't 
say it to anybody but myself, but Nelly's married a 
wholesome sort of chap if nothing more. I've got 
any amount of respect for girls when they'll only let 
me have it. If there were more new wives there'd be 
fewer New Women anyway. Look at Nell ! (turns 
ivith his back to door and busies himself ivith a cap 
and knapsack) Will she ever think another moment 
of the Gospel according to Miss Prance ? No — never 
again ! She's got me. I shall be quite enough to 
occupy her mind. 



6 A PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 

Enter Mrs. Melrose. She is clad in a jacket, ivaist- 
coat and knickerbockers exactly like her husband's, 
and made of similar material. Her caj), her stock- 
ings, her shoes, the flou'cr in her button-hole are 
identical ivith his ou-n. She is a pocket edition of 
him. 

Mrs. M. {coming doum behind Mr. Melrose and 
shoiL'ing considerable nei^vonsness — aside) I wonder 
how he'll take it ? Sarah Prance said he would kick 
ferociously at fii-st, but finally give way if I was firm! 
"Break him in at the start or you'll never run in 
double harness." Those w^ere Sarah's very words. 
Now to break him in ! {to Mr. M.) Quite ready, 
Hal, when you are ! 

Mr. M. All right, my little white mouse, {turns 
round) What! Thunder and Lightning ! Who are 
you ? 

Mrs. M. {approaching) Yourbetter half, aminot? 

Mr. M. Stand off ! Don't touch me ! 

Mrs. M. Can't you recognize your own wife, Hal ? 

Mr. M. My wife ! It's one of those pictures out 
of 

Mrs. M. It isn't anything of the kind. Why — oh, 
these you are looking at ! {indicating her knicker- 
bockers) Merely a rational walking costume. 

Mr. M. " Rational ! " If you could see them as I 
do, you'd go and drown yourself. 

Mrs. M. Well, I'm dressed exactly as you are, 
an 3^10 w. 

Mr. M. And you stand there in broad daylight and 
are not ashamed to say so ! I've never — never seen 
anything more painful outside a comic opera. 

Mrs. M. I thought I'd surprise you, Hal ? 

Mr. M. You thought right ! You have ! It's the 
most painful surprise I've had since Common won the 
Derby in 1891. To think that any woman after she's 
known me six months and been actually married to 
me for a week, should dare to appear before me in 
knickerbockers ! 

Mrs. M. We call them divided skirts. 

Mr. M. You may call them what you like ; thej^'re 
knickerbockers. D'you think I don't know a pair of 
" knickers " when I see them ? What's more, they're 



A PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 7 

a sort of hideous burlesque of the pair I'm wearing 
myself at the present moment, which makes it worse, 
if anything could ! 

Mrs. M. {eagerly) Yes, dear Harry, that's the 
beauty of it ! I got them at Milner's, and expressly 
directed that they should be made out of the very 
same material as yours ; because I thought it would 
be such a beautiful idea for husband and wife to go 
on a walking tour in clothes made out of the same 
piece of cloth. 

Mr. M. Oh, you thought that was a beautiful idea, 
did you ? Well, I call it about the most utterly 
depraved notion I ever heard of ; and if you imagine 
that I intend to be seen in the open street with you 
dressed like that, you never made a bigger mistake, 

Mrs. M. I'm going to be true to my principles, 
whatever you say ! 

Mr. M. Then you'd better go on a walking tour 
with your principles, for you Avon't with me — not in 
those ! 

Mrs. M. It's a perfectly right and proper costume 
for a walking tour. 

Mr. M. It's not a right and proper costume for a 
married woman ! 

Mrs. M. Nonsense ! You don't suppose the march 
of civilization's going to stand still for you, do you ? 

Mr. M. Civilization may jolly well march where 
it likes — but you're not going to join the march — not 
in those bags, I tell you once for all ! 

Mrs. M. {crossing and displaying herself to the 
best advantage) I suppose everybody knows I've got 
a pair of legs, don't they ? 

Mr. M. Yes, but that's no reason why everybody 
should see 'em. The world is quite prepared to take 
some things for granted, your legs amongst the 
number. Devonshire is a very respectable and rather 
old-fashioned county. Devonshire will readily credit 
you with the usual number of limbs and ask no ques- 
tions. But I'm not going to have this magnificent 
moorland scenery outraged by the spectacle of a mar- 
ried woman in knickerbockers, 

Mrs. M. It's a divided skirt. 

Mr. M. Well, a skirt divided against itself falleth. 

Mrs. M. No, it doesn't — not if 3 ou wear braces. 



8 A- PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 

Mr. M. Braces ! Did you dare to say " braces " ? 

Mrs. M. Very pretty ones, too. I look a great deal 
nicer than jo\x do, whatever you may think ! 

Mr. M. If you only knew what you did look like, 
you'd call on the hills to cover you. Brazen woman ! 
Have you no respect for your sex or even your dress- 
maker ? Upon my soul, to look at you now makes 
me wonder whatever I could have seen in you to 
marry you at all ! 

Mrs. M. {approaching) Harry ! That's the first 
harsh word IVe ever heard from your lips. 

Mr. M. I speak more in sorrow than anger. Some 
people would think it funny and laugh, J think it sad 
— heart-breaking, in fact. If it was possible for me 
to shed tears, that beastly little waistcoat you've got 
on would make me do so. A married woman, too ! 

Mrs. M. You keep harping on that. We've only 
been married a week, after all. ^ 

Mr. M. Only a week ! And you go and dispel my 
dreams of bliss with this nightmare, {taking letter 
out of his pocket) Here I get a beautiful letter from 
your mother, congratulating me on having knocked 
a little sense into your head, and the next minute you 
come capering in got up like some serio-comical horror 
out of a music hall. 

Mrs. M. You needn't be vulgar about it. 

Mr. M. The truth's often vulgar ; and the truth 
is that, in that elaborate tom-foolery, you're simply 
fit to frighten crows and make children cry. {goes to 
window a7id turns his back on her) 

Mrs. M. No, Hal, I shouldn't terrify dear little 
children. They alwaj^s love me. 

Mr. M. You would in those ghastly things. You'd 
make them bawl themselves into fits and die. And 
that's what I feel inclined to do, 

Mrs. M. {impatiently) Rubbish ! It's men like 
you with your selfish, conceited, egotistical twaddle 
that make women revolt ! We Avill not be stamped 
under the tyrannous heels of — of 

Mr. M. Keep it up ! 

Mrs. M. I mean to. When I married j^ou I 
promised to love, honour and obey you ; and I shall if 
I can, though I see it's going to be hard. But I never 
promised to d«ress as you liked, and I shan't ; and the 



A PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 9 

husband who would criticise his wife's new clothes 
is a cad, and nothing better. 

Mr. M. Did you say "cad"? Did I understand 
you to call me a cad ? 

Mrs. M. {frighteyied at his manner, sings small) 
If I did, you stung me to it. Em sorry— I didn't 
mean that, of course. But you said I should frighten 
little children and make the crows cry. It's cruel of 
you, Hal ! It's not like you. And — {pitifully — 
stretching out her arms to him) I took such endless 
trouble about having them made out of the very same 
piece of cloth. 

Mr. M. {sitting doivn in aymichair and turning 
from her) Don't stretch out your tailor-made arms 
to me ! 

Mrs. M. {turning sharply, as if about to leave the 
room) Then I shall go home to mother ! 

Mr. M. She doesn't want you ! She's got rid of 
you ; lucky woman ! 

Mrs. M. Then I shall give up the world— and— 
and — {hysterically) go into a nunnery or something! 

Mr. M. In those ! D'you think a respectable nun- 
nery would stand those ? I'll tell you one thing ; my 
Aunt Featherstone's not going to be petrified and 
scandalized by this display. I can see her in my 
mind's eye as you walk up the steps of the Manor 
House ! 

Mrs. M. She's a lady, I suppose ? 

Mr. M. Yes — a very old one, with a weak heart 
and strong prejudices. If she saw you like that, she 
would feebly drop her double-eyeglasses with the 
tortoise-shell handle, give one piercing cry of despair 
and fall back into the butler's arms probably suffering 
from some complicated sort of stroke. 

Mrs. M. I don't suppose she'd mind at all. 

Mr. M. Well, the question is, do I mind ? And I 
do. I can't make myself any clearer, so possibly 
you'll take the hint. 

Mrs. M. I shall take no hint at all. 

Mr. M. {rising angrily) Then perhaps you'll obey 
a command. 

Mrs. M. Never ! 

Mr. M. {thoroughly roused) Go and take those 
things off, Mrs. Melrose ! 



10 A PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 

Mrs. M. Mr. Melrose, I shan't ! 

Mr. M. Say that again ! 

Mrs. M. I — shall — not ! 

Mr. M. It has come to this, then ? 

Mrs. M. It has. Miss Prance said it would. 

Mr. M. Damn Miss Prance ! 

Mrs. M. You can't ! I know you'd like to, but 
you can't ! You're all the same. The moment a man 
objects to anything, he damns it ! Miss Prance will 
be an angel in heaven a good many years before you 
are. 

Mr. M. She'll have to put on what she's told then, 
anyhow. If New Women are going buzzing about 
there in rationals, I would just as soon go 

Mrs. M. You may sneer, but you fear Sarah Prance 
for all that ! She knows what you men are ! She 
strips you to your hollow hearts, fathoms your selfish 
bodies and shallow souls ! She said you'd be nasty 
about these clothes, and she was right ; she said you'd 
be brutal and she was right ; slie told me to wear 
them night and day, if necessary, till you came to 
your senses, and I shall. She said, " Break him in at 
the start, or you'll never run in double harness." 

Mr. M. By Jove ! she was right there, too. This 
is going to be a tandem marriage. 

Mrs. M. With you in front, I suppose ? 

Mr. M. Where should I be ? Shakespeare wrote 
the truth w^hen he said it was sharper than a serpent's 
tooth to have a revolting daughter. He might have 
added that a revolting daughter makes a dismal failure 
of a wife. 

Mrs. M. That's wicked of you, Hal ! There isn't 
a shadow of truth in it. I've been a good, faithful 
Avife to you for a week, and you know it ! 

Mr. M. (looking at her critically) You may be a 
tolerable wife down to the Avaist ; but the wife who 
persists in wearing knickerbockers is only half a wife 
at best. However, you are going to stake the happi- 
ness of your future married life on this foolery, so 
there's an end of the matter, {gets his hat and 
prepares to go off) 

Mrs. M. Where are you going ? 

Mr. M. To send a telegram to Aunt Featherstone. 
She must at least be prepared. Your divided skirt 



A PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 11 

will jDrobably cut m*e off with a shilling, but even 
then I don't want to see the old lady destroyed by a 
new Gorgon before my very eyes. 

Mhs. M. {aside, amazed) He's giving in — he's 
crumbling, {to Mr. Melrose) Then you yield, dear 
Harry, j-ou let your poor little wife have her way ? 

Mr. M. There's nothing else to do that I can see. 
It's merely a question of taste. There's no disputing 
about that. 

Mrs. M. {hastening to him and caressing him) My 
own dearest, best of husbands ! I knew you would 
see it as I do. You're such a big-minded man, really ! 
Miss Prance said you'd come round if only I 

Mr. M. {not returning caress, but smiling pleasant- 
ly) Ah, an admirable woman ! I wish I knew her 
personally. She must come and spend a week — a 
month with us when we've settled down, {looks at 
luatch) I shall be back in five minutes. Then we 
must really start, {goes to door and looks back, she 
has her back turned) 

Mrs. M. {going to knapsack) Don't be long, my 
own precious one ! 

Mr. M. {aside) Poor Nelly ! The only way ! No 
more divided skirts then ! Rough on her, but it'll be 
a lesson to last a lifetime. 

{Exit Mr. Melrose) 

Mrs. M. (sifting back m her chair) Oh, what a 
triumph ! What a battle ! What a victory ! When 
I said I should wear them night and day if necessary, 
he yielded ! It broke his spirit. He felt that further 
argument was useless and so he gave in. I suppose 
men all give in sooner or later, if a Avoman can keep 
talking long enough. So Miss Prance says, and she 
knows. Dear, brave Harry ! A regular honest 
Briton ! Once prove to him that he is wrong and he 
gives way like a lamb. He was hard to convince, of 
course, but then men always are. It takes them twice 
as long to see the simplest thing as it does us. {rises 
and walks about) I wonder what people will really 
think ? Not that it much matters what Devonshire 
rustics care, but still I should feel it rather if anybody 
made remarks or laughed. When Sarah Prance first 
rode her bicyle in Oxford Street they told her to get 



12 A PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 

her calves out of pawn, and thiu^ like that, (shivers) 
But Sarah really is thin ? and I — well, I'm different ! 
And if a girl can show her arms by night and wear 
low frocks, why shouldn't she reveal her legs bj^ day 
and put on a divided skirt ? Besides, I've got Harry. 
I know what my Hal would do if anybody dared to 
make a remark. Of course, it's much easier to be 
independent and original and new with a husband 
six feet high and broad in proportion, (icalks to look- 
ing-glass and pins on cap) What a wretched little 
skimpy thing a man's hat is ! There — I must get a 
bit of heather for it presently. And these — {hirning 
7'ound to see herself in the glass) They're very nice, 
but not nearly as comfortable as they look. One feels 
unfinished — as if one had forgotten- — absurd ! I shall 
soon get accustomed to them, (picks up knapsack) 
This goes on behind, I fancy ! (tries it on awktcardly) 
No, that won't do — it hurts ! And it ruins the set of 
the coat, (sfojjs suddenly ivith knapsack in her hand) 
I'll get Hal to carry it. He could easily sling it on 
somewhere. Yes, he must, (puts it doiun, then sits 
in easy chair and tries to pidl her coat over her knees, 
crosses her legs and recrosses them. Fidgets and 
shoivs she is far from comfortable) I wonder if that 
was true about Harry's aunt. Surely she wouldn't 
go and change her will because I wear modern clothes ? 
(brightening up) No, no ! Hal only said that to 
alarm me ; and when old Dame Featherstone sees me 
at dinner in my new poppy-red glace silk — she'll very 
soon forget these and make friends. 

(Rises and goes to ivindoiv ivith her back to door 
as Mr. Melrose enters. He ivears big straic 
hat covered ivith floivers — the elastic under his 
chin, and he has put on the skirt of the dress 
she has just mentioned; the poppy -red glace 
silk. It only reaches half-ivay betiveen his knee 
and ankle. Waistcoat and coat as before. He 
is brisk and in splendid spirits) 
Mr. M. Are you ready, sweetheart ? 
Mrs. M. Quite, my own loved — my own — my glace 
silk ! Merciful Providence ! Are you mad ? 

Mr. M. Mad ? No, I hope not ! Not more than 
other people. What's the matter ? 
Mrs. M. My new evening dress ! 



A PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 13 

Mr. M. It doesn't meet by yards behind, but I've 
dodged it up with a cricket-belt under my coat. Jolly 
light and easy for walking. I knew you'd lend it to 
me till my tailor has time to make me some pretty 
frocks. The colour's so jolly, too ! Ought I to wear 
the hat on one side, or straight ? 

Mrs. M. {blankly) You're not going into the open 
street like that ? 

Mr. M. Bless you, I'm going to walk to Tavistock 
like this. If my togs are good enough for you, I'm 
sure your clothes are quite good enough for me. I 
like it. See how it flutters when I walk, (strides 
about freely) 

Mr. M. Don't, don't, Harry ! You'll ruin it. It 
cost thirty guineas. 

Mr. M. Dirt cheap, too ! I like it, I tell you ! 
And I like myself in it. The colour suits me ! 

Mrs. M. What have you got under it ? 

Mr. M. That's my business. 

Mrs. M, You'd never do it. You'd never dare ! 

Mr. M. D'you think I've got less pluck than you 
have ? (puts on his knapsack) 

Mrs. M. But the people — the villagers ! 

Mr. M. They'll think we're a circus. And if any- 
body says anything I'll smash them, 

Mrs. M. But Harry — oh, good heavens ! it's mad- 
ness ! You can't be serious. You look a positive 
fool ! 

Mr. M. I know I do. I am a fool ! Nine men out 
of ten are fools. If you turned round after every fool 
you passed, you'd jolly soon have a stiff neck. For a 
real fool's trick remember what I did last week ! 

Mrs. M. You married me ! 

Mr. M. Exactly ! Come along ! Put on your 
knapsack. 

Mrs. M. I can't ! It's too heavj^. I thought that 
you • 

Mr. M. All right ! {slings her knapsack over his 
chest and picks up a stout ivalking stick) Just let me 
load a pipe and then away we'll go ! 

Mrs. M. {laughing hysterically) Now — now, I see ! 
It's a joke — a delicious joke — you dear funny fellow ! 
But I wish you hadn't chosen my glace silk. Still 
it's enough to make anybody laugh ! 



14 A PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 

Mr. M. Laugh ! Oh, yes, they'll laugh all right ! 
The cows will laugh ; the sheep will laugh ; the ducks 
in the gutters— the milestones— the telegraph poles— 
the fields— the hills— the valleys— the rivers— every- 
thing will roar. We're going to fairly convulse the 
whole face of Nature— that's what we're going to do. 
{lights his pipe) Come on ! 

Mrs. M. They'll laugh at you ! 

Mr. M. Or at you ! Candidly it would puzzle 
Solomon to say which of us looks the more unutter- 
able, hopeless lunatic. Separately we should create 
a considerable sensation ; together we shall 

Mrs. M. Get locked up. That'll be the end of it. 
No Christian country's going to stand two mounte- 
banks. 

Mr. M. {putting doivn pipe; eagerly) "Two !" 
Did you say '* two mountebanks " ? 

Mrs. M. I meant one, of course. Do get out of 
that dress like a good boy. I don't want to lose my 
temper, but the joke's gone far enough. (Mr. Mel- 
rose sits down in armchair) Take care ! 

Mr. M. You have had your way. What more do 
you want ? I've given in to you ! I've agreed that 
you shall go out looking like a juvenile Guy Fawkes, 
and now you turn upon me in this way. It isn't 
sportsmanlike ! I'm disappointed ! 

Mrs. M. {getting cross) Oh, don't sit there twad- 
dling ! Be a man if you knoW how to be, and take 
off my dress before you've ruined it. 

Mr. M. Bless you, no ! I'm going to wear this 
danger signal night and day if necessary ! We must 
give and take in married life and keep our tempers 
and each study to please the other. Everybody's got 
some pet tomfoolery. You want to wear the breeches. 
Very well, you shall ; but as long as you do, I swear 
I'll keep on the petticoats, so now you know ! Hand 
me the matches, {he takes tq) his pipe) 

Mrs. M. {handing the matches to liim) You mean 
to threaten then ! If I take off these clothes, you'll 
get out of my glace silk ? 

Mr. M. Certainly ! I'm only anxious to make a 
definite distinction between the sexes, {smokes) 

Mrs. M. Never ! It's a base, unmanly plot to get 
me out of my 



A PAIE OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 15 

Mr. M. Knickerbockers ! 

Mrs. M. You shan't ! I see through you, now. 
But it's useless. I'll be true to my 

Mr. M. Knickerbockers ! 

Mrs. M. My principles — if I have to lose a husband 
for them. I'll set out all alone over the wild, desolate 
moorland with my broken heart and. my 

Mr. M. Knickerbockers ! 

Mrs. M. (furious) And if I never reach Tavistock 
alive and am torn to pieces by a wild bull or some- 
thing ■ 

Mr. M. Which is very probable ; and nobody 
would blame the bull. 

Mrs. M. (stamping her foot) I say, if I lose my 
life and am brought back and laid at your feet a poor 
little, lifeless mangled corpse in 

Mr. M. Your knickerbockers. 

Mrs. M. (trembling u'ith passion) Coward ! 
Wretch ! Oh, you'd try the temper of a cherubim ! 
I'm sick of you and your brutality and your low 
buffoonery ! You're not a man at all — I don't know 
what you are ! Only I know I hate you — hate you — 
(Mr. Melrose rises in amazement and puts dowji his 
pipe) hate you, and I'm sorry I ever married you ; 
and I wouldn't take off these things now, not if you 
went down on your knees and prayed me to for a 
Aveek. No power on earth will make me change my 
mind. I'd — I'd rather be chopped into pieces than 
yield, (about to go, turns) And I shall go on buying 
divided skirts of every shape and colour and size and 
pattern as long as I live, (goes and turns at door) 
And you'll have to pay for them. 

(Exit Mrs. Melrose, slamming door after her. 
Mr. Melrose sits down in armchair and twists 
his moustache. A pause before he speaks) 

Mr. M. And that's the woman who hoped I'd go 
on kissing her for fifty years, (pause) If the John- 
nies at the Sports Club could see me now — sitting 
here like this— scored off, sat on, squelched, smothered, 
sold by a bit of a girl I could pretty nearly pick up 
and put in my pocket. A chap who rowed in his 
College boat and got his '' blue " for '' socker." They 
were right — they said I wasn't a marrying man, 
really, (pushes hat bach on his head and pricks his 



16 A PAIE OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 

finger) Damn the tiling ! {snatches hat off and 
flings it toicards door) Girls are all held together 
with pins! I believe — {sucking his finger) I'll 
bet those infernal knickerbockers of hers depend 
upon pins if the truth's known. Every woman's a 
walking pincushion ; and when a man's married his 
trouble begins — that's true enough. But I didn't 
know it began so quickly, {rises and goes toivindoiv) 
Of course I can't go out into the open air like this, 
really ! I should be packed off to the County Lunatic 
Asylum before I'd gone fifty yards. Quite right too 
— wished they'd collared me and sent me there a week 
ago. This is what comes of a man trying to blufiO his 
wife ! {ivalks doini stage^ turns, trips over dress and 

falls upon the floo?^) Oh, — d ! No, I won't. 

What's the good. Swearing won't help! {sits up, 
but makes no attempt to rise) The thing for me to do 
is to keep cool and approach the position in a calm, 
philosophic spirit, {takes out his cigar case) Some- 
thing must be done ! The question is — what ? (selects 
cigar and bites the tip off) I've promised to love and 
cherish her and all that ; and I'm going to keep my 
word whatever she does, {lights cigar) Of course 
there are thundering few prizes in the marriage lot- 
tery ; I knew that jolly well before I took my luck; 
and if I've drawn a blank, which seems pretty evi- 
dent, it's only what ninety-nine fellows out of a 
hundred do. And the world goes on just the same; 
nobody cares, (pause) It's no good sitting here any- 
way, (tries to get up and fails. Sits doivn again) 
Upon my soul, you can't blame wretched girls for 
trying to wear comfortable bags. It's enough to sour 
the whole sex, being tied up like this for life. Fancy 
having to live in a frock! Of course if every girl 
wore knickerbockers it would be different and I 
should be among the very first to say it was' a 
very sensible idea, (smokes) I'm a reasonable man 
enough and few fellows have got more common sense. 
In fact, common sense was about the only thing I 
ever had got. But no chap wants to be the husband 
of a curiosity. And whatever I may think, I know 
exactly what Aunt Featherstone will . (puts h is elbows 
on his knees, his hands on each side of his head and 
sits, smoking and thinking) 



A PAIH OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 17 

Enter Mrs. Melrose. She still wears ^^^/^''^J^.^^^^^^j' 
coat but has put on a dark serge skirt ^ bne has 
been crying and holds pocket-handJcerchiefin her 
Mid She looks at Mr. Melrose, w^o does not 
turn ' then picks up the hat he has flung down, 
touches it itp and puts it on before the looking-glass. 
Mr M. (not turning round) Is that you ? 
Mrs. M. Ye-yes! What are you doing now? 
Mr. M. Thinking ! . ., • , • , 

Mrs M. a curious place to think m ! 
Mr. M. Yes ; and it^s a curious thought I ve got 
in my mind. , 

Mrs M In your mmd ? 

Mr.'m. Yes, my mind. We neednt dispute about 
trifles like that. I was picturing dear old Au.it 
Featherstone when we arrive. 

Mrs. M. You said she'd faint when she saw me in 
my knickerbockers. . . , 

Mr M And when she sees me m this led lag 
chell'die ' She'll just have strength to totter feeb y 
to her writing desk and make a codicil to her will. 
Then sheTl pass away from the evil to come. 
Mrs M. a codicil ? What s that 
Mr M An invention of the devil by which the 
act of a man's mature judgment may be juggled away 

;3n his death-bed by the -'^f^^il^l'^'i^^^^^^^ 
Featherstone's case a codicil will mean that £2o UUU 
^vhich her mature judgment has bequeathed to ^om 
iulband will go to brighten up the Home for Supei^ 
annuXd^^^^^ or some rollicking institution of 

^^^Ate" M Well, get up, then, and take off my un- 
l.^py dress and behave like a sane man. You don t 

^'"m"!"^' Honestly, Tve seen more of you already 

'^"mps T 'you-vou might observe a slight change. 
MR #' What have you done now? Put on a pair 

"'S:T ' No, Harry, Fve-IVe been weak enough 
to take off the— the 

other reason at all ! 

2 



18 A PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 

Mr. M. (who has been staring at her) What ! 
Why ! It's my own Nelly back again ! My own 
priceless pearl of a Nell ! It was a horrible dream — 
a hideous nightmare. 

Mrs. M. So's my poor glace silk ! 

Mr. M. {rising ivith the help of a chair) Get me 
out of it ! Lug me out ! Drag me out ! Quick ! My 
own delicious Nelly ; and I thought I'd lost her ! 

Mrs. M. Take care ! You'll tear it to pieces ! 

Mr. M. You shall have another — twenty others ! 
Don't attempt to wear this vile thing. It'll trip you 
up every time you put it on. I was never in such a 
dress in my life, {getting free of the glace silk) Thank 
the Lord ! 

Mrs. M. {as he caresses her) I only gave way 
under protest, Hal ! 

Mr. M. Never mind the cause ! The effect is 
divine ! And that stunning affair on your head too ! 
Beautiful ! Jolly different to the brute of a hat I 
had on. 

Mrs. M. It's the very same, you silly old thing ! 

Mr. M. Is it ? Then for goodness' sake take care 
of the pins ! 

Mrs. M. But there's one thing I must ask you, 
sweet Hal ! Will you say ' ' Yes " ? 

Mr. M. Yes — yes — yes — a thousand times ! Any- 
thing — everything ! 

Mrs. M. Then do let me keep this little waistcoat, 
please ? {she holds out coat so that he can see the 
iraistcoat) 

Mr. M. (putting his arin round the icaistcoat) You 
shall keep the waistcoat ! I like the waistcoat ! I 
love it ! You shall always wear w^aistcoats — you're 
perfect in 'em ! 

Mrs. M. And you don't think Aunt Featherstone 
Avill go and codicil away your twenty-five thousand 
pounds now, do you ? 

Mr. M. If she's any eye for the beautiful, she'll 
make it fifty thousand. [Mrs. Melrose moves to go) 
Where are you going ? 

Mrs. M. To get the knickerbockers. They will 
just about fit Farmer Jones' second boy. 

{Exit Mrs. Melrose taking the glace silk) 



A PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. 19 

Mr. M. Never ! Shall a garment that's been 
sanctified by my wife's precious person adorn the 
lanky limbs of the second son of Farmer Jones ? Not 
if I know it ! 

Re-enter Mrs. Melrose with the JcnickerbocJcers. 

Mrs. M. {holding them out to her husband) There 
they are ! I hope the little boy will like them better 
than I did ! 

Mr. M. No, no, I keep these bags. They are 
sacred. I've a jolly good mind to have them 
quartered with my coat of arms. 

Mrs. M. As a painful memento of to-day ? 

Mr. M. (putting knickerbocJcers on chair) No, as 
an olive branch of peace ! 

Mrs. M. As a palm branch of victory, you mean ! 

Mr. M. Not at all ! As a, solemn reminder and 
warning that my precious godsend of a wife once 
wore the breeches and 

Mrs. M. Didn't like them ! {he takes her face be- 
tween his hands and kisses her, first on one cheek, 
then upon the other ^ as he was doing when the cur- 
tain rose) 

CURTAIN. 



^r-SEND FOR A NEW DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE. 



{French'' i Standard Drama Continued from 2d page of Cover.) 



VOL. XLI. 

321 The Rrate's Legacy 

322 The Charcoal Burner 

323 Adelgitba 

324 Senor Valiente 

325 Forest Rose 

326 Duke's Daughter 

327 Camilla's Husband 

328 Pure Gold 

VOL. XLir. 

329 Ticket of Leave Man 

330 Fool's Revenge 

331 O'Neil the Great 

332 Handy Andy 

333 Pirate of the Idea 

334 Fanchon 

335 Little Barefoot 

336 Wild Irish Girl 

VOL. XLIIL 

337 Pearl of Savoy 

338 Dead Heart 

339 Ten Nights in a Bar-room 

340 Dumb Boy of Manchester 

341 BelphegortheMounteb'k 

342 Cricket on the Hearth 

343 Printer's Devil 

344 Meg's Diversion 



VOL. XLIV 

345 Drunkard's Doona 

346 Chimney Corner 

347 Fifteen Years of a Drunk- 

348 No Thoroughfare ["ard's 

349 Peep O' Day L^ife 

350 Everybody's Friend 

351 Gen. Grant 

352 Kathleen Mavourneen 

VOL. XLV. 

353 Nick Whiffles 

354 Fruits of the Wine Cup 

355 Drunkard's Warning 

356 Temperance Doctor 

357 Aunt Dinah 

358 Widow Freeheart 

359 Fron Frou 

360 Long Strike 

VOL. XLVL 

361 Lancers 

362 Lucille 

363 Randall's Thumb 

364 Wicked World 

365 Two Orphans 

366 Colleen Bawn 

367 'Twixt Axe and Crown 

368 Lady Clancarthy 



VOL. XLVH 

369 Saratoga 

370 Never Too Late to Mend 

371 Lily of France 

372 Led Astray 

373 Henry V 

374 Unequal Match 

375 May or Dolly's Delusion 

376 Allatoona 

VOL. XLVUL 

377 Enoch Arden 

378 Under the Gas Light 

379 Daniel Rochat 

380 Caste 
School 

382 Home 

David Garrick 
384 Ours 

VOL. XLIX. 
.385 Social Glass 

386 Daniel Druce 

387 Two Roses 

388 Adrienne 
The Bells 
Uncle 

391 Courtship 

392 Not Such a Fool 



VOL. L. 

393 Fine Feathers 

394 Prompter's Box 

395 Iron M.ister 

396 Engaged 

397 Pygmalion & Galatea 

398 Leah 

399 Scrap of Paper 

400 Lost in London 

VOL. LI. 

401 Octoroon 

402 Confederate Spy 

403 Manner's Return 

404 Ruined by Drink 

405 Dreams 

406 M. P. 

407 War 

408 Birth 
VOL. LU. 

409 Nightingale 

410 Progress 

411 Play 

412 Midnight Ch.irge 

413 Confidential Clerk 

414 Snowball 

415 Our Regiment 

416 Married for Money 
Hamlet in Three Acts 
Guttle & Gulpit 



FRENCH'S INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHTED EDITION 
OF THE WORKS OF THE BEST AUTHORS. 

The following very successful plays have just been issued at 25 cents per copy. 



A PAIR OF SPECTACIiES. Comedy In 3 Acts 
by Sydnky Grundy, author of "Sowing the Wind," 
&c. 8 male, 3 female characters. 

A FOOL'S PARADISE. An original play in 3 
Acts by Sydnky Grundy, author of "Sowing the 
Wind," Ac. 5 male, 4 female characters. 

THE SILVER SHIELD. An original comedy in 
3 Acts by Sydney Grundy, author of "Sowing the 
Wind," &c. 5 male, 3 female characters. 

THE GLASS OP PASHIOK. An original com- 
edy in 4 Acts by Sydney Grundy, author of " Sowing 
the Wind," &c. 5 male, 5 female characters. 



THE BALLOON. Farcical comedy in 3 Acts by J. 

H. Darni.ky and Manvillk Fknn. 6 male, 4 female 

characters. 
MISS CLEOPATRA. Farce in 3 Acts by Arthur 

Shirley. 7 male, 3 female characters. 
SIX PERSONS. Comedy Act by I. Zangwill. 

1 male, 1 female character. 
FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE. Comedi- 

etta in 1 Act by Percy Fend all. 1 male, 1 female 

character. 
HIGHLAND LEGACY. Comedy in 1 Act by 

Brandon Thomas, author of "Charley's Aunt." 

5 male, 2 female characters. 



Contents of Catalogue which is sent Free. 



Amateur Drama 

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Art of Scene Painting 

Baker's Reading Club 

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Burnt Cork 

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Carnival of Author* 

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Drawing-room Monologues 
Elocution, Reciters and Speakers 
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Evening's Entertainment 

Fairy and Home Plays 

French's Costumes 

French's Editions 

French's Italian Operas 

French's Parlor Comedies 

French's Standard and Minor Drama 

French's Standard and Minor Drama, 

bound 
French's Scenes for Amateurs 
Frobisher's Popular Recitals 
Grand Army Dramas 
Guide Books for Amateurs 
Guide to Selecting Plays 
Hints on Costumf s 
Home Plays for Ladies 
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Make-Up Book 
Make-Up Box 
Mock Trial 

Mrs. Jarley's Wax Works 
New Plays 



New Recitation Books 

Nigger Jokes and Stwnp Speeches 

Parlor Magic 

Parlor Pantomimes 

Pieces of Pleasantry 

Poems for Recitations 

Pl.iys for Male Characters only 

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Spirit Gum 

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Talma Actor's Art 

Temperance Plays 

Vocal Music of Shakespeare's Plays 

Webster's Acting Edition 

Wigs, etc. 



I Love 
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VOL. XLI 

321 Adventures of 

322 I ost Child 

323 Court Cards 

324 Cox and Box 

325 Fortv Winks 

326 Wonderful Woman 

327 Curious Case 

328 Tweedleton's Tail Coat 



(French's Minor Drama Continue J from 4th page of Cover.) 

VOL. XLIII. VOL. XLIV, 

337 Sunset 345 Who's To Win Him 

338 For Half a Million 346 Which is Which 

339 Cable Car 

340 Early Bird 

341 Alumni Play 

342 Show of Hands 

343 Barbara 

344 Who's Who 



VOL. XLII. 

329 As Like as Two Peas 

330 Presumptive Evidence 

331 Happy Band 

332 Pinafore 

333 Mock Trial 

334 My Uncle's Will 

335 Happy Pair 

336 My Turn Next 



347 Cup of Tea 

348 Sarah's Young Man 

349 Hearts 

350 In Honor Bound [Law 

351 Freezing a Mother-in- 

352 My Lord in Livery 



SAMUEL FRENCI^i, 26 West 22d St., New York City. 



New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed Pree on Request. 



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VOL. I. 

1 The Irish Attorney 

2 Boots at the Swan 

3 How to Pay the Rent 

4 The Loan of a Lover 

5 The Dead Shot 

6 His Last Lees 

7 The Invisible Prince 
S The Golden Farmer 

VOL. II. 
9 Pride of the Market 

10 Used Up 

11 The Irish Tutor 

12 The Barrack Room 

13 Luke the Laborer 

14 Beauty and the Beast 

15 St. Patrick's Eve 

16 Captain of the Watch 

VOL. III. 

17 The Secret [] 

18 White Horse of the " 

19 The Jacobite 

20 The Bottle 

21 Box and Cox 

22 Bamboozling 

23 Widow's Victim 

24 Robert Macaire 

VOL. IV. 

25 Secret Service 

26 Omnibus 

27 Irish Lion 

28 Maidof Croissv 

29 The Old Guard 

30 Raising the Wind 

31 Slasher and Crasher 

32 Naval Engagements 

VOL. V. 

33 Cocknies in California 

34 Who Speaks First 

35 Bombastes Furioso 

36 Macbeth Travestie 

37 Irish Ambassador 

38 Delicate Ground 

39 The Weathercock [Gold 

40 All' that Glitters is Not 

VOL. VI. 

41 Grimshaw, Bagshaw and 

Bradshaw 

42 Rough Diamond 

43 Bloomer Costume 

44 Two Bonnycastles 

45 Born to Good Luck 

46 Kiss in the Dark O"''" 

47 'Twould Puzzle a Con- 

48 Kill or Cure 

VOL. VII. 

49 Box and Cox Married and 

50 St. Cupid [Settled 

51 Go-to-bed Tom 

52 The Lawyers 

53 Jack Sheppard 
M The Toodles 

55 The Mobcap 

56 Ladies Beware 

VOL. VIIL 

57 Morning Call 

58 Popping the Question 

59 Deaf as a Post 

60 New Footman 

61 Pleasant Neighbor 

62 Paddy the Piper 

63 Brian O'Linn 

64 Irish Assurance 

VOL. IX. 

65 Temptation 

66 Paddy Carey 

67 Two i3regories 

68 King Charming 

69 Po-ca-hou-tas 

70 Clockmaker's Hat 

71 Married Rake 

72 Love and Murder 

VOL. X. 

73 Ireland and America 

74 Pretty Piece of Business 

75 Irish Broom-maker 

76 To Paris and Back for 

Five Pounds 

77 That Blessed Baby 

78 Our Gal 

79 Swiss Cottage 

80 Young Widow 



icul- 



VOL. XI. 

81 O'Flanniganand theFai- 

82 Irish Post [ries 

83 My Neighbor's Wife 

84 Irish Tiger 

85 P. P., or Man and Tiger 

86 To Oblige Benson 

87 State Secrets 

88 Irish Yankee 

VOL. xn. 

89 A Good Fellow 

90 Cherry and Fair Star 

91 Gale Breezely 

92 Our Jemimy 

93 Miller's Maid 

94 Awkward Arrival 

95 Crossing the Line 

96 Conjugal Lesson 

VOL. XIII. 

97 My Wife's Mirror 

98 Life in New York 

99 Middy Ashore 

100 Crown Prince 

101 Two Queens 

102 Thumping Legacy 

103 Unfinished Gentleman 

104 House Dog 

VOL. XIV. 

105 The Demon Lover 

106 Matrimony 

107 In and Outof Place 

108 I Dine with My Mother 

109 Hi-a-wa-tha 

110 Andy Blake 

111 Love" in '76 [ 

112 Romance under DifiBc 

VOL. XV. 

113 One Coat for 2 Suits 

114 A Decided Case 

115 Daugh ter [nority 

116 No; or, the Glorious Mi- 

117 Coroner's Inquisition 

118 Love in Humble Life 

119 Family Jars 

120 Personation 

VOL. XVI. 

121 Children in the Wood 

122 Winning a Husband 

123 Day After the. Fair 

124 Make Y'our Wills 

125 Rendezvous 

126 My Wife's Husband 

1 27 Monsieur Tonson 

128 Illustrious Stranger 

VOL. XVII. 

129 Mischief-Making [Mines 

130 A Live Woman in the 

131 The Corsair 

132 Shylock 

133 Spoiled Child 

134 Evil Eve 

135 Nothing to Nurse 

136 Wanted a Widow 

VOL. XVIH. 

137 Lottery Ticket 

138 Fortune's Frolic 

139 Is he Jealous? 

140 Married Bachelor 

141 Husband at Sight 

142 Irishman in London 

143 Animal M.ignetism 

144 Highways and By-AVavs 

VOL. XIX. 

145 Columbus 

146 Harlequin Bluebeard 

147 Ladies at Home 

148 Phenomenon in a Smock 

Frock 

149 Comedy and Tragedy 

150 Opposite Neighbors 

151 Dutchman's Ghost 

152 Persecuted Dutchman 

VOL. XX. 

153 Musard Ball 

154 Great Tragic Revival 

155 High Low Jack & Game 

156 A Gentleman from Ire 

157 Tom and Jerry [land 

158 Village Lawyer 

159 Captain's not A 

160 Amateurs and Actors 



161 Promo 

162 A Faj 
63 Mrs. C 

164 Shakes^ 

165 Neptune's i/eieax- 

66 Lady of Bedchamber 

67 Take Care of Little 
168 Irish Widow [Charley 

VOL. XXII. 
69 Y''ankee Peddler 

170 Hiram Hireout 

171 Double-Bedded Room 

172 The Drama Defended 
1"3 Vermont Wool Dealer 

174 Ebenezer Venture [ter 

175 Principles from Charac- 

176 Lady of the Lake (Trav) 

Vol. xxiii. 

177 Mad Dogs 

178 Barney the Ba.-on 

179 Swiss Swains 

180 Bachelor's Bedroom 

181 A Roland for an Oliver 

182 More Blunders than One 

183 Diriib Belle 

184 Limerick Boy 

VOL. XXIV. 
1S5 Nature and Philosophy 

186 Teddy the Tiler 

187 Spectre Bridegroom 

188 Matteo Falcone 

189 Jenny Lind 

190 Two Buzzards 

191 Happy Man 

192 Betsy Baker 

Vol. XXV. 

193 No. 1 Round the Corner 

194 Teddy Roe 

195 Object of Interest 

196 My Fellow Clerk 

197 Bengal Tiger 

198 Laughing Hyena 

199 The A'ictor Vanquished 

200 Our Wife 

VOL. XXVI. 

201 My Husband's Mirror 

202 Yankee Land 

203 Norah Creina 

204 Good for Nothing 

205 The First Night 

206 The Eton Boy 

207 Wandering Minstrel 

208 Wanted, 1000 Milliners 

VOL. XXVH. 

209 Poor Pilcoddy 

210 The Mummy [Glasses 

211 Don't Forget your Opera 

212 Love in Livery 

213 Anthony and Cleopatra 

214 Trying It On 

215 Stage Struck Yankee 

216 Young Wife & Old Um- 

brella 
VOL. XXVIIL 

217 Crinoline 

218 A Family Failing 

219 Adopted Child 

220 Turned Heads 

221 A Match in the Dark 

222 Advice to Husbands 

223 Siamese Twins 

224 Sent to the Tower 

VOL. XXIX. 

225 Somebody Else 
•226 Ladies' Battle 

227 Art of Acting 

228 The Lady of the Lions 

229 The Rights of Man 

230 My Husband's Ghost 

231 Two Can Play at that 

Game 

232 Fighting by Proxy 

VOL. XXX. 

233 Unprotected Female 
2.34 Pet of the Petticoats 

235 Forty and Fifty [book 

236 Who Stole the Pocket 

237 My Son Diana [sion 
2.38 Unwarrantable Int 

239 Mr. and Mrs. White 

240 A Quiet Family 




014 152 529 3 



(French's Minor Drama Continued on ^d page of Cover.) 



■.'*3 LiiiieToaaieKins 

24b A Lover by Proxy [Pall 

247 Maid with the Milking 

248 Perplexing Predicament 

VOL. XXXII. 

249 Dr. Dihvorth 

250 Out to Nurse 

251 A Lucky Hit 

252 The Dowager 

253 Metamora (Burlesque) 

254 Dreams of Delusion 

255 The Shaker Lovers 

256 Ticklish Times 

VOL. XXXIII. 
■/57 20 Minutes with a Tiger 

258 Miralda ; or, the Justice 

of Tacon 

259 A Soldier's Courtship 

260 Servants by Legacy 

261 Dying for Lo%-e 

262 Al.arming Sacrifice 

263 Valet de Sham 

264 Nicholas Nickleby 

VOL. XXXIV. 

265 The Last of the Pigtails 

266 King Rene's Daughter 

267 The Grotto Nymph 

268 A Devilish Good Joke 

269 A Twice Told Tale 

270 Pas de Fascination 
v71 Revolutionary Soldier 

272 A Man Without a Head 

VOL. XXXV. 

273 The Olio, Part 1 
874 The Olio, Part 2 

275 The Olio, Part 3 [ter 

276 The Trumpeter's Daugh- 

277 Seeing Warren 

278 Green Mountain Boy 

279 That Nose 

2S0 Tom Noddy's Secret 
VOL. XXXVL 

281 Shocking Events 

282 A Regular Fix 

283 Dick Turpin 
484 Young Scamp 

285 Y^oung Actress 

286 Call at No. 1—7 

287 One Touch of Nature 

288 Two B'hoys 

VOL. XXXVII. 

289 All the World's a Stage 
990 Quash, or Nigger Prac- 

291 Turn Him Out [tice 

292 Pretty Girls of Stillberg 

293 Angel of the Attic 

294 CircumstancesalterCases 

295 Katty O'Sheal 

296 A Supper in Dixie 

VOL. XXXVIII. 

297 Ici on Parle Francaia 

298 Who Killed Cock Robin 

299 Declaration of Independ- 

300 Heads or Tails [ence 

301 Obstinate Family 

302 My Aunt 

303 That Rascal Pat 

304 Don Paddy de Bazan 

VOL. XXXIX. [ture 

305 Too Much for Good Na- 

306 Cure for the Fidgets 

307 Jack's the Lad 

308 Much Ado AboutNolhtng 

309 Artful Dodger 

310 Winning Hazard 

311 Day's Fishing [Ac. 

312 Did vou ev«r send your, 

"vol. XL. 

313 An Irishman's Maneuver 

314 Cousin F.annie 

315 'Tis the Darkest Hour be- 

316 Masquerade [fore Dawn 

317 Crowding the Season 

318 Good Night's Rest 

319 Man with the Carpet Bag 

320 Terrible Tinker 



SAMUEL FRENCH, 26 West 22d Street, New York City. 

New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed Free on Request, 



